December 2008 Archives

The Hindu God Vinayak never looked so good...

While I know it's not officially Christmas yet, Christmas comes whenever I say it does in the Some Guy Case. The reason for that is because Christmas Eve I will end up working 12+ hours and Christmas Day 18+. It's not likely that I will get to see my family at all Christmas Day and may not even be able to speak to them on the phone. It can be a bummer at times, therefore Santa visits our house on whatever my days off happen to be that week. Normally it's a few days prior to the actual holiday, although last year it fell a couple of days later.

I've already nestled the youngest curtain climber in bed and the other one will soon be on her way. They both know well that Santa Claws doesn't show up at the houses where children are awake and are very interested in receiving such a visit tonight. We left the Christmas lights on so he could find the house and of course we've left out cookies and milk for him and carrots for the reindeer.

This is one of times of year when I just fucking despise my job with a vengeance. I've come close to quitting a few times simply because it's the holidays and they have always meant so much to me, ever since I was a child. I even came up with a plan last week to pay off all of my debt and quit my job late next year, just making what I do in web advertising. I could do it too, but it would mean a cut in my lifestyle which I really don't want. Once January has come and gone I will get over it and be back to business as usual. I get the same urge when I'm on vacation and see how people actually get shit like nights, weekends and holidays off of work, just not quite as urgent as I do during the holidays.

I was going to post some more but got involved with something else so I guess that's about it for this evening. I may get something up tomorrow but it's not likely...

Have to cook all day and then have meetings in Alabama again this evening. I'll probably get home around 9pm or so. Damn long day so this will probably be the only thing I post today. Pic is in the extended entry, probably not safe for work.

Just kind of surfing around and I ran across this tonight. I love Achmed the Dead Terrorist.

It's not the Fourth of July but by god I love my country!

I decided this morning that I was going to take the chicken-shit way out with terminating the flasher. She was scheduled in at four or five this evening, at which time I was going to be well on my way to Alabama, so I just figured I would make my schedule changes (which included taking her completely off) and just tell the folks working the shift that she could call the manager tomorrow. hehe. I figured that my store manager deserved a bit of her own medicine and needed to be forced to do her job.

Alas, but it didn't work out as planned. The flasher showed up at 2pm to pick up her paycheck. I let her get paid and then told her that due to her inappropriate behavior we would no longer need her.

She took it quite well actually. She smiled and said 'ok, do I have another check coming?' as she bebopped her way out the door. I guess she was just glad that she had a couple of paychecks and would no longer have to work Christmas Day. I wish everyone I have had to fire over the last 22 years took it so nicely. Shit, I even had one lady pull a knife on me back in the eighties. I ended up having to get the law involved and take her out of the restaurant over that one. Somehow I've never managed to get my tires slashed although I do occasionally check to make sure.

Terminating people has to be one of the most distasteful things I ever have to do in my job. I get a fucking knot in my stomach every time I have to do it. The ones that cry are the worst. I can't stand that. Fuck, I can't even watch a sappy movie without getting all teary-eyed and here is some blubbering fucking idiot making me feel like shit.

The only saving grace is that I don't fire people unless they REALLY need it. You have to be a complete and utter fool to get fired by me (you know, like showing your saggy tits in the middle of the dining area in one of my restaurants) . If it's just some run-of-the-mill piece of crap that won't do what I say, normally just cutting their schedule gets the point across and either they quit or shape up.

I'm all about second chances too. The girl I replaced the flasher with? Someone I fired two years ago when I was still a single unit manager. I've gotten much nicer since my promotion. I put up with a lot more shit than I ever would back then. That's what I don't get about my managers. They should be running their stores as if their paychecks depend upon their performance (it does) and they don't. They want all the money and recognition but they can't get to fucking work on time and want to hit the door at 2:15 in the afternoon. Anyway, when I was a manager I always felt that you should get a couple of tardies and after you show me that you can't get to work on time I start replacing your ass one minute into your shift. Getting sent home for being one minute late is embarrassing as shit and it usually cures the problem. It's been quite some time since I did that to anyone. Now I just pretty much shrug it off. I figure if I can't make the fucking store managers get to work on time there's not going to be a cure for getting the employees in on time. Although I can give the store manager's written warnings and make sure that I document everything I don't have any real power to do anything to them as punishment.

It's a pretty safe bet that for the next couple of days all my employees will show up on time. I have their Christmas bonus checks in my notebook and I will be giving those out personally. If I've left before they get there? I guess they'll have to hunt me down or wait until the next time I'm there.

So there's this waitress working in one of my restaurants. I say working but but whatever the fuck she's working on is something I ain't selling.

Anyway, this waitress is pretty much worthless. She sits around doing not much of anything, expecting that the customers are there for her benefit and not the other way around. Slacks on doing dishes and end of shift sidework and has yet to clean anything. Pretty much worthless. I would say that a good 60% of my associates are this way except for the fact that if I specifically give them direction they will follow it for the most part. Most of them want direction, it's the managers that can't provide it that get shitty results.

I started hearing complaints from some of the associates that this girl had shown her tits to one of the customers and at one point dropped her pants for another.

Nice.

This ain't Hooters, folks, nor is it a fucking strip joint. It's a family atmosphere and the last thing I want my kids to see is some skanky bitch dropping her fucking pants. The manager confirmed the complaint to me as well. That's the other thing, but it's something I will have to deal with later, the fact that she (the manager) confirmed it to me but had not taken any fucking action. Christ, grow some balls and act like a business owner.

Yesterday one of the ladies that works for me clued me in one another bit that this girl had done. It seems that a group of young men came in during the evening last week and she started flirting with them. No big deal. Some waitresses think it increases their tips to flirt with the customers and with some guys it does. The problem with that is that it can lead to embarrassing and otherwise unwanted situations.

She grabs one of these guy's cell phones and takes it into the bathroom with her. Why, you ask? Do you really need to fucking ask? Yes, she took nekked pictures of herself and her 'hidden piercings' for the boys.

Fuck. And I didn't even get to see them.

Anyway, I figure I will have to fire the bitch today since the manager is going to wait for me to do it anyway. The only problem is that I have no way to get in touch with her and she doesn't come to work until 4pm this afternoon at which time I will be on my way to Alabama for the company Christmas party. ooops. I can either just take her off the schedule and make her wait until the manager gets back from her days off or I suppose I could always just stick her separation notice in an envelope along with a note that says "we don't show our boobs to the customers"

Found this video courtesy of Libby. If you are easily offended you probably shouldn't be here anyway and this beer commercial is par for the course around here.

So I had to make a run to the bank around lunchtime this afternoon when the store called me on my cell phone. I hadn't even left the damned parking lot before it started ringing. They called to let me know that a couple of employees were stranded in Tallapoosa. Considering that one of them was my 2nd shift waitress for today and the other was my 2rd shift cook I decided that it would be a good idea to pick them up. Actually I probably would have even if they had been off today, that's just what kind of guy I am. The fact that they were scheduled to work only added to urgency of picking them up.

I hit the bank and then picked them up about a block away. Just as soon as they got in my car I was hit by a wave of stench so foul that I almost blew chunks all over my steering wheel. I'm not talking about needing a touch of body odor either. This was such a disgusting odiferous stink of someone that had shit on themselves and then died. In a hot room. Two days prior.

I suspected the female of the pair since she was sitting beside me in the front seat. I don't think she had ever even considered getting in the back. As it is she had to put the seat all of the way back and even then her knees were still resting on my freaking dashboard. While I try not to make fun of people because of their attributes all I can really say is, fuck. I am a bit chunky in the middle and starting to go bald as well so I'm certainly no spring chicken but this woman has got to be 300 pounds or I'm fucking Barack Obama. Jesus Christ. Her ass looks like a sack with two weasels fighting as she walks. How can you not take care of yourself to the point where your ass is heavier than my fucking eleven year old and five times as wide? Or perhaps I'm just being too judgemental...

What really sucks is that an hour after rescuing them and taking them home she called me needing a ride to work. Fuck. I could have sent one of my waitresses but she has this little bitty sports car so the chick wouldn't fit on the roof much inside the fucking thing.

My car still smells bad. I think maybe I'll stop and pick up a couple of air fresheners and just let them sit on my passenger seat for a couple of days. Either that or leave my dog out in the rain and then take him for a ride in my car. The smell would be a major improvement...

Yet another edition of 'how low can you go'...

...that would be me. I've been remiss since moving over here as to posting on a regular basis. Not that I don't have anything to rant about. Far from it. I just don't seem to have the time for it and when I am at home I am usually writing about cocksuckers and child beaters over at the old site. Alas, the pickings have been slim even over there the last few days. I think I've posted four times since Thursday and even those were just pathetic attempts to make sure I managed to get something online because I felt guilty. It's a bitch when real life gets in the way, eh?

So what exactly have I been doing with myself all weekend?

December is always a tough month for me. Longer days at work preparing for the 'Superbowl' of days at work for one thing. Back before I made the excellent choice to go into the foodservice business I would wonder at the occasional business that was open on Christmas Day. Of course that was in the mid-eighties and you could barely find a place to fill up your car on Christmas then. Now it's a little different and Christmas is big business for more places but there are still enough folks with the brains to close on Christmas Day that it is overwhelming for the ones that are open and invariable we never seem to have enough help or time to get all the fucking chuckleheads in and out the door. Christmas Day starts at 5am for me. As a store manager I would usually only end up working 10-12 hours because I was one of the smart ones that actually staffed their restaurant with plenty of good folks. Unfortunately my three managers (and all of the other ones I worked with last year) don't seem to be able to do that. Last year I worked 19 hours on Christmas Day and this year doesn't look like it will be any easier. At least I will be at the one closest to my house. Not as far to drive after midnight when I get off work. That extra fifteen minutes of sleep will help me out when I have to get up at 5am on the 26th to feed all of the sumbitches that get up to return their fucking gifts the day after Christmas, the ungrateful bitches.

I also tend to have twice as many (or more!) meetings and shit to attend in December as well. We do something for the children of our employees on the 11th, so we also had to spend this past Thursday night wrapping the fucking gifts. That is exactly how I envisaged spending the evening of my 42nd birthday. Wrapping fucking Christmas gifts for someone else's little trailer trash for four fucking hours. Actually I had a pretty good time and for a good reason. Probably the only thing related to work I will truly enjoy this month. We also have our weekly Thursday meetings. We also have a preparatory holiday meeting to last for four hours on the evening of the 18th. The mandatory Christmas party for the managers on the 15th. Oh yeah, I still have to cook at least 35 hours a week in addition to running my three stores and making sure my managers don't fuck anything up while I try to get 70% out of them.

Needless to say, December is not my favorite month. It's not always been that way though. As I mentioned, my birthday was last week. My youngest curtain climber has hers the day after. She turned 6 this past week. Six years old. The last of our toddlers. While some things are best left behind it's with a slight tear that I realize that I will never have the chance to clean up shit spewed all over the bathroom wall during potty training, or hold another one in my lap to console them while they power puke all over my shoulder. Twenty years of punishing nastiness makes one miss a thing when it's finally gone.

So that's the reason I haven't been online much the last week. Not to mention the 3-D castle puzzle I spent the weekend working on with my 11-year-old. You know, the one I got her last year that's been gathering dust on the top of the bookshelf. Not that I don't enjoy doing it with her but like my son she seems to wait until twenty minutes before bedtime to remind me we need to work on it. A bit fucking late. She's catching on though and got me early the other day so we pulled it down and now the dining table is covered with semi-complete walls and moats and 680 loose puzzle pieces. It's going well. I'll have to make sure to post a picture of it here when I'm finished.

...back to the six-year-old. She's asked me several times over the last couple of months for a camera. Her elder sister received one for her birthday and she has wanted one since. I managed to find a V-tech camera for her. Tough little bastard that isn't going to break when it's dropped, has a bit of rubber in it's casing, two places for little hands to hold it, two eye-pieces too look through, yet manages to do a semi-decent job at taking pictures. Even has a place for an SD card, non-removable without a screw-driver of course, which is a good thing. The last four days have been filled with "I took a picture of your sock, hehe" and cute shit like that. The great thing about digital is that it's easy to get rid of crap.

Well, it's about a quarter of six now and I have to pour the wife a cup of java and get my ass in the shower. Until the next time lovely people, and just remember, you really don't want to fucking eat out on Christmas Day. Slaughter yourself a pig or turkey and gorge yourself on that shit. Make your fucking wife cook all three meals and for god's sake DON'T FUCKING COME VISIT ME ON CHRISTMAS!

If you didn't get my cryptic tweet last night you need to read a bit more science fiction. "Damn. Two more hours and I AM the meaning of life...On that note I think I shall go to bed..." If you did, good deal, you know exactly what I am referring to.

I have officially made yet another trip around the sun and turn 42 years old today. Yuck. And of course I have to work today, along with having to attend a meeting this afternoon. Can't get much more fun than that....

Updated - So I posted this right before I went to work this morning and got home about 7:30 tonight. That sucked.

I did get a cool gift (of course I picked it out, sometimes that's the best kind)...One of those Mr Coffee Expresso/Cappuccino machines. W00t. There's not much better than a good cup of coffee, unless it's a good cup of cappuccino.

Came across this last night. Pic is in the extended entry...

So I finished up writing about some bloodthirsty scumbag sumbitch and here I am just surfing the web when I come across a site I haven't been to before. How many websites do you have exactly, Trench? Damn. Anyway, when I saw the deal below I laughed for about ten minutes. I laughed so hard I teared up. Kind of a nice way to end the evening...

So I don't like the black color scheme over here. Guess I need to come up with some kind of design but I am pretty much unmotivated about the whole thing.

Any ideas?