Skullfuckin'

My little brother turns 39 tomorrow. Damn. Just f’ing damn. Not that I am a LOT older than he is but  today has just been one of those days. Actually it’s been one of those weeks.

I quit smoking two weeks ago today. It’s been pretty fucking difficult and still is pretty difficult. I know it will get easier but am still waiting.

Right around the time I quit I also got sick as hell with a pretty bad head cold. I thought for a couple of days that I had come down with the flu even though I knew better. I doctored myself up with Zicam, NyQuil, Mucinex and Synutab and muddled through a few days until I thought I was over it. So much for that.

For a few days now I’ve been feeling dizzy and lightheaded. At first I thought it was just from not smoking anymore and then for the last day or two I was afraid that perhaps my blood pressure was fucked. While I have always had great BP, when the wife quit smoking her’s all of a sudden got funky and they had to put her on medication to regulate it.

Thank goodness it wasn’t either of the above, but more on that later.

While I was on vacation I saw the eye doctor who decided it was time for bifocals. The results are now in…

It’s a crappy webcam photo but you get the general idea. I think I look pretty fucking good actually. Now I just have to get used to the got-damned things. I did get the transitions so I won’t have to worry about swapping to sun-glasses when I drive, which will be nice.

I picked them up after my meeting this evening and then paid a visit to the local doc in the box to get looked at for the dizziness.

As the wife suspected, I have an ear infection. They prescribed a 10-day course of antibiotics and the doctor also offered to jump start it with a shot. What the hell, I figured. Anything to get rid of this a bit faster. How wrong I was.

A short while later the nurse comes back in with TWO syringes and says, “did doctor say you would be getting two shots?”

One shot, two shots, what’s the difference anyway.

I pull up my shirt sleeve and the nurse just shakes her head at me. Those things were meant for my ass apparently.

I followed her directions and dropped trou, leaning up against the bed thing whilst she jabbed me once in each hip, telling me during the first one “don’t scrunch, it only hurts more.”

I’m sorry but I am here to tell you that when you get pointy things near my ass I’m all about getting all scrunchy and flexy so as to protect the old poop chute.

So here I sit on my sore ass. I’ll be heading to bed soon if I can’t find any degenerates to post about at the crime site.

Apparently the more the site sits dormant, ignored like a red-headed step-child, beaten like the black sheep it is, the more the spammers stop in and spread their cheer. Or perhaps it's just the fact that I don't stop in very often and it just looks like a ton of spam that I needed to delete.

Whatever it is, I hate spam and spammers. At least they make it easy to tell real comments from spam. I suppose it could be much worse.

I'm pretty testy(cal) today. Comes from working four weeks straight with one day off in each. I'm glad the holidays are over now. Only thing I'm concentrating on now at work is fixing a few things and trying to get put on the "selectable" list for promotion.

Both of the other district managers out here that I am friends with put in their applications at the same time I did and while I most likely did much better on the deductive reasoning portion of the test one of them has been a district for ten years. I figure she and I will end up being put on the list, not sure about the other. That doesn't guarantee promotion though. The levels down from me are pretty much promoted using the FIFO method. Whoever has been on the promotable list the longest gets offered the position first. If they for some reason turn it down it goes to the next.

Once you get up to my level it is strictly based on ability (or in some cases brown nosing). I'm not very good at brown nosing but I have mucho experience and ability so hopefully will be able to pick up another six or so stores at some point in 2010. I am relatively certain now that it won't be this month though. I am pretty sure that the next guy that will be taking the position is just going to be a lateral move.

While all that promotion stuff would be gravy on the cake all I really want now are my days off :) which start tomorrow.

mañana

So about a year ago I quit shaving my head on a regular basis due to popular request here at the house of skullfuckin and I started going to a local salon to let the ladies cut my hair. They usually do a pretty decent job at it too.

I stopped by Scissorhands the week of Christmas to get my normal trim. The hair has been getting a bit shaggy lately and even with the extending forehead my hair still grows at a tremendous rate.

Just not all over.

Anyway, the girl that was there either didn't understand what I wanted or was just tired and I wasn't paying attention. I keep it very short on the sides and back and a bit longer on the top. When I got home we noticed that it was longer on the back than the sides. Sort of like a retarded mullet or mohawk. Not only that but the back wasn't even either. The left side was slightly longer than the right.

I dealt with it for a couple of days and it was Monday before I had any time to spare. By the time I made it over there they had already closed, dangit.

I chose the next best solution and asked the wife to just buzz the shit, which she gladly did (with a bit of glee in her eyes as a matter of fact). All went well except for the part about shaving OBAMA into my pubic regions. That's where I draw the fucking line. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that part didn't I?

I hate getting all of that hair on me and always hop right into the shower after I shave my head. It's worse when all that crap gets all over my clothes and stuff, so when we went in I stripped and got a nekked haircut. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

My kids have some sort of radar for where we are. Neither the wife or myself can leave the room for more than 3.5 minutes without a child looking for us. For what you ask? It doesn't fucking matter. They just want to know where we are. The Marine is no different. Almost 21, been in the Corps for two and a half years but damn if you leave the room, he's sure to follow shortly after.

You see where this is going now?

About halfway through the haircut in walks the Marine, who says "Oh Wow" and beats a hasty retreat due to the magnificence. Either that or the pasty white of my ass cheeks scared the bejeesus out of him.

It was quite a while before the wife and I could stop laughing and continue the haircut but damn it sure was worth it. One more year of counseling for the children...

Eric dropped a line on the last entry yesterday, told me I needed to post something to move the last entry down the page. I guess it is a bit upsetting to look at first thing in the morning...

Anyway, here's to hoping you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'll spend the greater part of the day working unfortunately but should get a bit of family time later this afternoon.

Thanks to Leeann for the beautiful pic...I think this guy might have worked for me at one time or another...

Back before I turned Shadowscope into a strictly crime-only blog I would post some of the recent search terms every once in a while. It seems like it's been quite some time since I've done that and when I logged in for my occasional check-in this evening and saw what brough you sick fucks over here it floored me.

Here are a few of searches from the last ten hits here (which is about 18 hours...)

1. nsfw thong
2. teen dog sex fucking
3. strippers fucking
4. teens fucking videos

WTF? Looks like some of you folks will be next to be featured on the front page of my crime blog.

And the total top searches since I moved over here?

7. zombie survival quiz - 10 hits
6. ask.com - 10 hits?
5. tramp stamp - 10 hits
4. thongs nsfw - 17 times
3. skull fuck - 32 hits
2. gay skull fucking (slightly more popular) - 40 hits
and the winner...
1. skull fucking (or skullfucking along with a couple of other combinations) - 1112 hits WOW!

I just don't know what to say about some of these. Is it a reflection on me or YOU?

I had just finished a chat earlier with this crazy bitch I wrote about at my crime blog (an entirely different story there) the other day when I came across this. How fucking true...

Update --- The pic isn't the chick I was chatting with. After I posted it I realized how that sounded. The one I chatted with is here.

What can I say? It's been a long fucking week.

So I'm just sitting here minding my own business. The house is fairly quiet. The wife and youngest have gone to a luau birthday party for another 6-year-old and my oldest girl is mowing the neighbor's lawn. Sweet! I should be napping.

Anyway, I've been browsing a few of my RSS feeds for a story to post to my crime blog. I think I've found one. This special-ed teacher that actually paid a student after he had sex with her. She's not bad looking either. Sweet deal. I didn't have too many hot teachers and I damn sure never knew of any that would pay to have sex. Now I know why I hate people and it's not because they don't pay to have sex with me either.

I'll get to the point sooner or later. My mind seems to be jumping around on me this evening. As I said, I was sitting there contemplating hot special-ed teachers when I get a call from one of the cooks in one of my restaurants. She says "What are we going to do about this, boss"?

"About what" I asked?

"Did you not get my text message?"

"nope"

"We have roaches"

silence....you could almost hear the fucking crickets chirping in the background...

"OK" As in what the fuck do you want me to do about it?

"I moved the coffee machine and a couple crawled out onto the backbar"

Well hell, let me jump right the fuck in my car and rush down there and kill the roaches for you. I'm not doing anything else important right now.

It took quite a bit of will-power to actually say "I'll make sure to call our pest service Monday and get them out there"

Silence...

"And there's a dead rat on the back porch"

Silence...

Crickets....

"OK"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Throw it away and wash your hands after?"

I explained that working in a restaurant (that she has been employed at for six fucking months) you are bound to see the occasional roach no matter how clean the store is because even if I have the exterminator out every two days roaches come in with our vendors. The bread people, the produce truck and the big delivery truck on Wednesdays. I've run the cleanest stores on this side of the state and I've run some really nasty ones as well and one thing that is constant is always fighting the flies and roaches and an occasional rodent that comes in through the back door when you aren't looking. She still sounded confused when I hung up the phone with her. I think she actually expected me to shout "Oh No! Roaches. I'll be right there to kill the cocksuckers!"

So I check my unchecked text messages and sure enough there it is "We got bugs INSIDE the store boss. Like Roaches" Yep, I got it.

Then the very next message was from one of my waitresses that's working with this brain surgeon. "Look i found me a new pet out back lol" hehehe. And the picture to accompany the message?

Damn, but that's an ugly little fucker. Perhaps the manager's special tonight should be chili...

It's pretty sad when I just happen to stop in and post over here once a month whether I need to or not. I had a couple of crime stories I need to write about today but I just decided I needed to stop in here instead. No real reason for it. I don't have any invective-filled rants or anything disgusting to post. Too fucking early for that anyway. Just getting ready for work work here shortly and I felt like rambling.

So ramble I will...

I start my ten day vacation on Monday and it's much-needed and most likely almost as much-deserved. I've been working my as off as usual and am looking forward to the time off.

The last couple of summer vacations we've taken have been fairly busy. Last year of course was seven days spent at Disney World (which we returned to this April for a few days less) and was a week's worth of 18 hour days. By day six I was so fucking exhausted that we decided to just leave a little early. None of that this vacation, although it will involve a little bit of driving.

Bright and early Monday morning we're driving to Hilton Head where I've reserved a room (actually more of a suite) at a bed and breakfast on the south side of the Island. It's about a five hour drive and then two days of fun not quite in the sun. According to the weather it'll be stormy while we are there so me may end up doing more hanging out and shopping than actual beach time.

Wednesday the wife has to catch a cab for Savannah where she will fly back to Atlanta and then on to Texas to meet up with some blown-eyes. There girls and I are going to continue our adventure and head up into the Mountains. I'm taking them to the Cherokee Indian Reservation in NC for a couple of nights and then on to Gatlinburg and Chattanooga. I don't have any definitive plans for those four days right now. Just mainly playing it by ear although I do have some ideas. We may stop in on a certain straight white guy and his lovely wife if they are around. They are pretty much on the way from Gatlinburg to Chattanooga and I would hate to bypass them without at least stopping in for a chat.

Well...there is more I need to catch up on here but it's about ten of six and I need to be in the shower and leaving for work about ten minutes ago. Perhaps this afternoon I won't be so neglectful and will stop back in.